Coming to grips with who I am is hard. For instance, tonight the lesson titled "John Will Be Disappointed By Women" was retaught with the greatest efficieny. I was simply denied company. There's no faster way to disappoint me. A refresher won't be needed for months. I'm guessing January 2007. My birthday, of course. It will be spectacular. I should have somebody around with me that entire week for verificiation that I am a loser or have inaccurate views of relationships of any sort.

"I don't care for you at all" and "I care for you in some way" are the only relationship expectations I can set with single women. If I'm willing to talk to a single woman for more than five minutes, I'm probably willing to spend a day, a month and a year with her. That is very painful for me, because my expectation of "I care for you in some way" is frequently not what a single woman sets with me. I get the other expectation: "I don't care for you at all." I hate this.

Rage boils. Someone is going to get hurt tomarrow. I hope it is me, via the bike. After being left alone, I wanted to go into a bar and get 86'd in about ten minutes. Broken glasses were a potential consequence, and since a new pair is unaffordable, no bar was graced with my presence.